No more pageant, but there will always be boba

If I were at all creative, I could probably find some poetic way to say "The pageant is over, but this blog is just beginning"...preferably using a metaphor involving boba tea.  I thought about it for about three minutes, and then realized that I have a lot to cover in this post, and should probably write it before I put it off any longer.

What's new in my life since my crowning Saturday's pageant?  WELL.  For one, if you thought that being crowned princess at the pageant itself was good enough, you would be wrong.  This past weekend, there was another ceremony for members of the press, where we were given a plaque, our monetary reward, and, most importantly, the fake-glass award statue that I will proudly display on my desk  (next to the Newton's cradle), when I become the CEO of some badass company.

I'm the CEO, betches

And what is a press event without terrible footage of me? 

Below is the news report that showcases my awkward smiles and inability to keep my dress up:

Q: Can you guess which interviewee is pageant CEO? A: Read on for the A!


"Dancin' all around, Mama's got a crown...'cause she's a PRINCESS" - Whitney Flinn

PAGEANT IS OVER! I've been scouring the Interwebz for all sorts of sources to compile into a digital scrapbook thing.  Well, are you ready?

Photo credits are due first: Emily Wu, Felix Liusky, Michelle Lin, Mindi DePaola, Rebekah Boudreaux, Steven Lam, Stephen Hsu, Steven Chou, Wesley Wong

And extra eProps to Mindi for Tweets and video :)

Click below for a massive pile of media!

Hint on how to use Storify: remember to keep clicking "Read More"


Epic Construction Zone

I know everyone is waiting to know what happened this past Saturday night. Please stay tuned! I am working on an EPIC narrative consisting of all our favorite media, including TWEETS, PHOTO, and VIDEO.


We will return you to your regularly scheduled blog update...perhaps on Wednesday.  In the meantime, the Twitter detour might be able to sustain you for the next couple days.


Great Expectations

Tomorrow night, I will wear dresses and makeup.  I will try my best to put my shoulders back and stick my boobs out.  I will not forget the opening dance sequence transitions.  I will introduce who I am in less than a minute.  Be impressionable.  I will walk here, then there, curtsy, then pose. Then I will perform my talent, which is somehow supposed to  prove that I am better than everyone else.  I will answer one question that will determine whether or not I am a good Taiwanese-American.  All while smiling.

Wish you were here!

PS Live tweets from the San Gabriel Hilton will start at approximately 5:30PST with the hashtag #BobaPageantDreams, virtually hosted by my sister @MindiWen


Try to act surprised!

In case you thought the Q and A's were top secret...they're not.  And if they're not a secret to the contestants, why should they be a secret to you?
Tacky gif FTW

Here are the possible questions we could be asked on Saturday night.


Question: Will you read this blog post with no pictures?

Q: What is the purpose of the Question and Answer?   I used to think that the Q&A was the most distinguishing part of the pageant, when you can really weed out the idiots because it’s when all the ridiculous things start flying out of the contestant’s mouths.  “Can you believe she said that?” “Typical dumb blonde” “Wow. Just wow.”  But let’s think about this for a moment.  Is it the answer that’s bad? Or the question?
Perhaps the best way to dissect the intricacies of the Q&A is to revisit the famous A’s of the past.  Let’s all take a moment to remember the instant classic that is Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren “Everywhere else like such as” Upton:

The key to deciphering questions is to read between the lines.  I think this is where most of the brain power goes in answering a pageant question.  “One-fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map.  Why do you think this is?”  Obviously, this isn’t a question about maps.  This was not obvious to Lauren at first…but then she gets it, sort of (she did mumble something about education for US Americans, right?).  The second thing to note, and the reason this A is so famous, is word choice.  I know I’m not the only one who has a feeling that contestants are instructed to memorize a list of buzzwords to toss around in their answer.  I’m sure this list is chock full of synonyms for world peace, our children’s future, third-world countries, and America.  The problem occurs when your brain short-circuits and starts using these phrases back-to-back, creating nonsensical redundancies.  I will attribute the short-circuiting to being befuddled by the question with a hint of "I don’t know how to answer that question and am therefore nervous about it".  To recap this Q&A: decent question (How do we fix education in America?), bad answer (“Some people in our nation don’t have maps”). 

Not all questions are decent though.  And if the questions are terrible, aren't we setting these women up for failure?  The recent Miss America pageant provides a stellar example:

The Q’s of pageants are supposed to bring the controversial issues plaguing America to the stage.  In general, the most ridiculous thing about many controversial issues plaguing America is that they are treated and hyped like...controversial issues…plaguing America.  You don’t need to be a media studies major to observe that news outlets sensationalize everything.  For viewer ratings. For profit (please don't tell me you're surprised...).  Many “issues” are “non-issues”, while the actual issues are too boring for anyone to watch (meaning less $$).  My point in this being that the evolution debate is not a debate.  Why are we asking people if evolution should be taught in public school?  As this video points out, that’s like asking if math should be taught in public school.  The other side to look at is the Answer.  Sadly, like a lot of women and men in America, some of these women were also under the impression that evolution is controversial ("teaching both sides"???), and it’s kind of hard to label these as bad answers when the question (as an extension of America’s sensationalized approach to news) is just as bad.

And then there are the questions that are meant to draw the best middle-of-the-fence responses.  I am not sure if these can be qualified as good or bad questions, because let’s be honest, what exactly are they training you to do?  Stating your personal beliefs?  The more controversial the question is, the more people will pay attention to your answer, and the more you will shrink away from saying how you really feel.  Who gets rewarded in these situations?  Certainly not the woman who speaks her mind (whether you’re right or wrong).  I am of course, referring to the infamous Miss California, Carrie “No offense to anybody out there” Prejean and her opinion on gay marriage:

This question is a mess of all sorts.  It combines key factors from the first and second Q, and adds in its own fun.  First, let’s read between the lines on this one.  Is this question solely about gay marriage?  I would argue that the best way to answer this question is to focus on human rights...because in essence, it is about human rights.  Second step: since this question is about human rights, why is this even an issue [plaguing America]?  Thirdly, anyone, not just Prejean would have been expected to answer this question with the buzzwords “equality” and “rights”, both used positively, without ever agreeing or disagreeing with anything.

 These sorts of questions seem to prepare you for a life of politics and diplomacy.  By politics, I mean it in every sense: politics of the household, the workplace, the social sphere, and the government.  It is the politics of compromise, where you say something to please everybody, and not because it’s the right thing to do.  I wouldn’t say this is a terrible skill.  In fact, it is probably a very useful skill.  But, as I bring up in a previous post, do these skills ever serve the purpose beyond being someone’s puppet?  Since when do women (or anyone) who stay centrist ever become a catalyst for change or activism?  Is it the duty of a pageant queen to be a neutral ambassador who follows the script in order to make everyone happy?  Or a woman who can lead others with her independent thinking style? Are these two things even mutually exclusive?  What exactly are the duties and expectations of a pageant queen besides attending spectacles and making speeches about achieving goals?  Maybe I am posing some difficult Q’s myself.  But I am interested in hearing your A’s.


"Pageantin' ain't easy" - MC Neekee

I'm trying to find a tacky/not-tacky widget to place on the side of the blog here, where you can see a countdown clock to the pageant day.  Widget added! (Thanks Lan!) August 6th seems like...oh EFF, like next week???  As of now, where am I in pageant progress?  What have I accomplished?  What do I still need to do?  If I had a widget that showed my pageant prep progress, this is where I would want to be:

This is where I feel like I am:


"I couldn't help but wonder..."

Nearly two weeks have gone by since I've become an official pageant contestant. Since the beginning of the blog, I feel like I've had to tread this line between expression and competition. If I veer too far into [critical] expression, I risk unofficial elimination. If I say nothing at all, then what is the point of this blog?

One of the biggest questions I ask myself about being in this pageant is: how does this affect me as a feminist? I think the short answer is that it shouldn't/doesn't. Yet, now I feel like I need to pose rhetorical questions à la Carrie Bradshaw in order to make this entry meaningful and worthwhile.


Monday Funday

GUYS sorry Sunday was ruined.  I'm working on a more intense piece and I kind of want it to sound like I put effort into it.

With that said, I'll leave you with something more on the fun side.  While researching this "Bobee" song that we'll be dancing to, I discovered that it's a cover of a Korean song by pop group T-ara.  I learned on Saturday that "Bobee" is a song about going to temple...or something. It's sung in Taiwanese, so I'm not too certain about the meaning, but I mean, look at the video.  It's very temple-y.  

T-ara's song "Bo Peep", on the other hand, is not about temple, and was even given essentially an "R" rating by the Korean Ministry of Culture and Tourism. So-so-so scandalous!

Taiwan's "Bobee":

Korea's "Bo Peep":

If you've ever seen a K-drama (Korean drama for you n00bs), on-screen couples are barely allowed to hold hands.  As my friend Lan reiterated, "Omg, I didn't know Koreans kissed on camera"...

Thoughts?????? TELL MEEEEEE


Storm and Stress

It’s my first Friday Friday!  And what a week it has been!  I feel like I haven’t had a moment to rest, and the pageant has barely started.  I can’t concentrate on a single thing at any moment, I’m eating all weird, and I wake up exhausted from crazy dreams about the Beckhams.   The question is: has the pageant been stressing me out, or have I been stressing myself out?  Read on to find the answer to this dramatically-phrased question!


First Impressions

It’s finally Weekend Wednesday and I can spill all the secrets I’ve learned! For starters, I’m sure you’re quite interested in what exactly went down on Saturday.  What did I do for 8+ hours?  How were the other contestants?  Did I see William and Kate hanging out in LA? My responses to these queries are:  stuff, aiiiight, and yes we’re bffs now.


Cursed Leg and Photo Goodies

I’m sure if you’re reading this, you are anxiously awaiting to hear all about the details from my first day of pageant training.  But first, I’m going to introduce you to my first character in this blog narrative.  Everyone, please meet Cursed Leg.



Oh, hello there, I didn't see you come in.  You caught me in the middle of preparing for my pageant.  Won't you join me?  Now that you've comfortably rested your mouse and your gaze has settled on my gorgeous background, allow me to welcome you to my blog!

Should you choose to subscribe, you will be following me on my quest to become the next Miss Taiwanese-American.  Honestly, I have a feeling I don't know what I'm getting myself into.  What I do know is that I have bought six dresses and a pair of shoes at Ross for $150,  I have one month to master my talent, and I also lack the muscles needed to stand up straight, wear high heels, and smile properly.  Great!

Luckily, my uncle's fiancé Yi Pi has graciously offered to be my part-time pageant coach.  It'll be like MTV's Made but without Yi Pi pounding on my door at 6am telling me to run to the gym and taking away my fatty foods.

Guess what guys, this pageant is on August 6.  This means the whole month of July will be full on dedication to Taiwanese pageantry.  As of now, the number of contestants is still a mystery, but I will enlighten you as soon as I get home from eight hours of preparation, rehearsal, and press conferencing!  Unless I pass out.  In which case I will be blogging upon resuming consciousness.

Now that we're all friends, I look forward to your comments (omigodplzcommentsoiknowsomeonereadsthis)!

PS In case blogging up to three times a week isn't good enough for you, make sure you check out my Twitter feed on the side over there for some little extra-pageantry nuggets.