I’m sure if you’re reading this, you are anxiously awaiting to hear all about the details from my first day of pageant training. But first, I’m going to introduce you to my first character in this blog narrative. Everyone, please meet Cursed Leg.
Cursed Leg made her debut on Thursday night, when I noticed that there was a mysterious mark on my right foot’s toe. Upon further inspection by means of putting my glasses on and poking with my finger, this mark turned out to be bumpy and slightly painful. I’ve had blisters and calluses on my feet from years of athletics, and those are relatively easy fixes. But now, when I must force my feet into silvery high heels, these mystery bumps appear out of nowhere and I’m not sure what to do.
The first step in diagnosing mystery foot bumps is probably not going to get a mani-pedi. But of course that’s exactly what I did. After stress-chewing my cuticles into oblivion for the past few weeks, I knew I had to tidy them up lest I disappoint my pageant coach Yi Pi. You may think that I’m going somewhere with this…perhaps a hilarious yet embarrassing encounter at the nail salon, and then a haphazard plan to rid myself of the mystery bumps. Sadly, I’ve led you astray, but it’s kind of not my fault. Honestly, I was expecting my nail lady to look at my feet, exclaim “Hey! You have <insert name of problem here>!” and refuse to touch me. I would be super embarrassed, but get my fingernails done anyway, have my cuticles repaired, and find out how to cure <insert name of problem here> when I Googled it later. Instead, I went to the nail salon, had French tips applied to both feet and hands, received a delightful massage, and then left without a clue as to what the bumps were. Is there a doctor in the house?
The next sign that Cursed Leg was going to haunt me happened on Friday night. During a semi-routine shave, I somehow nicked myself TWICE.As Alexandra Wallace once so elegantly phrased, “R U freaking kidding me?”
In my world of conspiracy theories, I happen to think these two incidents constitute a Cursed Leg. Naturally, I will be checking into every contestant’s background for history of voodooism.
Now that all these words are out of the way, I will spoil you with a few pictures of my make-up process:
Guess how many cleansing pads I normally use. Now guess how many it took to wipe my latex-y face off. If you guessed one and five, respectively, then you guessed correctly. For those of you who are bad at math, let’s see…that’s five times the normal amount. I imagine this isn't very great for my skin, which means I will actually have to try and take care of my face.
By now you’ve probably figured out that this blog entry is too long to delve into anything else. That is because I have tricked you into thinking that my Sunday entries would be about Saturday’s events. This is the point where I outline my blogging schedule such that you can be sure to click on that bookmarked link on the appropriate days.
Storytime Sundays: Days like today where I will tell you little about the pageant training day, and focus more on my thoughts and musings about general pageantry and preparation.
Weekend Wednesdays: Confusing title? Honey badger don’t care! I never pass up a moment to alliterate. Wednesday entries will summarize my weekend activities, probably in a less amusing fashion because I don’t have enough time to be witty. Not to be confused with Witless Wednesdays.
Friday Friday: Gotta get down on Friday. If I have leftovers, I’ll be posting them here. Fun fun fun fun.
Until Weekend Wednesdays,
Note: this entry was edited while I was distracted watching the most epic soccer game ever. #SeeTwitterFeed